Done with my 4th year

I always think the longest hour I could devote myself to study is merely 3 hours till I realized it has been 12 hours non stop I was recharging my brain with notes, pass years that morning. Had myself hooked up with the laptop screens and highlighted paper that I can feel my eyes may form hole soon. 

Ya Allah, dulu masa pre clinical I never really stay up. 37 lectures or up to 44 per system is still within my brain capacity. I can snap myself out of it with a few struggle. But now, I was even memorizing my notes in my nightmare, having exams sometimes even at 3 am while still in bed, woke up in regret and directly hadap notes on tablet to lessen the guilt of 3hours sleep. See how sacred this medical course is !  

And now, that it's over I still was in that moments of disbelief where when I look around and simply can’t believe that I've gotten this (that?) far. That you’re this person who’s done these things and taken these and made a life for yourself in this place. And I'm wishing beyond anything I could have ibu ayah and adik-adik with me now. They have been praying a lot for me , bearing with my whines all over throughout that period. Transatlantic phone calls, time differences, I shed off all those so called barrier cloaks into pieces. Lets hold onto 'distance made heart grows fonder' tightly. That's better. 

Tears well up as yesterday our Surgery marks was released. I targeted higher than this, but Allah knew better than we do. Though I'm a little bit dissappointed , yet to have it done finally, alhamdulilah , alhamdulilah . 81.45 / 100 . Other pandas also have secure their own 70++, 82, 85, up to 88 etc. Alhamdulilah for everyone finally made it. I'm truly happy and proud to have them as my comrades . The ups and downs , tears and joys of studying together, Allah heard and answered all our prayers. Just as how He sees and accompanies us that very moment we-want-to-give-up-but-we-dont. And I find the burdens of that moment become much more bearable when you connect with the purpose behind them; to be a good doctor . A real good hearted one. 

Post Surgery (final paper for 4th year) selca. Breakouts everywhere and Prada for sale under eyes . More than 24 hours not sleep pre exam.