Kacang

Masa taip nie , bekalan (cant find any better word) internet kat rumah takde so cant directly post this, here we go drafted. But still rasa nak taip juga sebab i dont want to forget how this kind of thing makes me feel more humane. 

Minggu nie round kat hospital paling jauh dari rumah. Around 1hour lebih masa yang diambil. And yes first day lambat sebab bas datang lambat (okay sebenarnya aku pun bangun lambat rushing breakfast mandi iron baju in less than 30mins).  Took taxi from rumah ke stesen bas but not lucky enough. Upon arrived stesen bas, satu bas pun takde plus barisan orang yang tengah tunggu bas nauzubilah panjang dia mashallah. 

Dijadikan cerita, last2 decide naik teksi dari stesen bas ke universiti sbb taknak tertinggal the next bas. Duit aku! Sampai je university, nasib baik sempat catch the next bas ke hospital fuhh. 2nd bas nie kalau lambat alamatnya menangis je la kat situ sebab dia memang sharp 7.50 pagi gerak no compromy at all! Tapi still dalam hati merungut dia tu takyah cakap la kan. Geram dengan *** lagi dan sebagainya. 

Sampai bilik seminar hospital, tengah sibuk2 revise nota fluid therapy tiba tiba masuk sorang budak lelaki around 7 years old, well dressed, bersih tapi muka dia tipikal budak2 tepi jalan mintak sedekah. Dengan sebakul besar makanan ringan (jajan/ kacang / sweets) yang dia nak jual sambil senyum promote jajan dia. 

Aku tengok jam, masa tu 8.30 pagi. Kalau jalan kat tepi-tepi jalan kat sini, kedai-kedai pukul 11 pagi baru tengah ontheway bukak. Ontheway je lah tapi belum buka lagi. Betapa nya diorang nie jarang bukak kedai awal. Dan budak nie,8.30 pagi dah usung jajan dia cari rezeki. Tabik.

TaSha (bukan malaysian groupmate) panggil dia sebab dia macam takut-takut nak masuk masa awal-awal. Takut orang halau dia barangkali. Tasha nie mmg baik orangnya, tak boleh tengok budak-budak susah, cepat je dia nak tolong. Dia sembang ngan budak tu sambil pilih2 nak beli jajan. Siap ajak kawan-kawan dia beli sekali. Nampak budak tu senyum gembira sebab jualan dia laku. Betullah Allah kata rezeki di awal pagi tu selalu ada inshallah.

Entah kenapa rasa tak sampai hati nak tolak tak  nak beli bila budak tu datang dekat dengan senyum. Dia tak paksa pun suruh beli.  Padahal bukan suka jajan pun. Rasa tetiba sedih sayu. Masa aku umur macam dia mungkin tengah sibuk lagi main polis entri tak pernah pikir susahnya nak dapat sesuap makanan. Tak pernah merasa tahan lapar macam budak tu.

Tengah dia berjual beli , doktor masuk. Cepat-cepat dia selesaikan urusan dia nak tinggalkan bilik seminar tu. On the way keluar, doktor tu nampak dia. Dengan muka takut-takut, cepat je dia meminta maaf dengan doktor tu, bimbang kehadiran dia diherdik barangkali. Plot twist, tiba-tiba doktor tu usap kepala dia dan cakap takpe and langsung tak marah pun. Doktor tu senyum lagi. Dan masa tu I confirmed even that honoured doctor do feel what we feel, seeing that little kid struggles .For a life.

Rasa macam tak layak pun setakat nak complain sakit sikit macam nie. Rasa tak layak sangat nak merungut susahnya nak hapai milestone vaccine development bla bla . Rasa tak layak sangat nak merungut tak sempat breakfast td pagi sbb takut miss bus. Rasa tak layak nak complain kenapa la elaun masuk lambat. 

Once,at a bus station I saw a crowd of 5 beggar kids share satu plastik kecik makanan. Apa je ada dalam plastik kecil tu aku pun tak pasti. They looked so kebulur sampai bila tengok tu rasa macam tak sanggup nak tengok. 

For someone who eats a lot like me, I knew how it hurts to feel hungry. How stressful the words 'no-food-today-guys' mean. So I made a new resolution of 2016 to share something of His rizq with this starving little angels hoping that they has sth to eat. Starting with simply sparing 5qirsh (like 50cents) per day for one or two kids that I met masa berebut bas. I don't know how much this helps them, but I sincerely hope ppl who see me doing this would also give a little penny to these kids when I'm not coming to this station bus. 

I'm not a great figure to start out a school for refugees like my other cemerlang batchmates. They're really hebat incomparably to me. May Allah bless them. But yes ignoring sth that was served in front of your eyes is worse than giving out the little bitty of what you have. I admit I tend to be afraid to start out doing good things sometimes . Why ? Because I feel I would'nt make any difference by doing so. But by time , I realised the seemingly mountainous thing always start as a midget unseen things. And one thing as a Muslim, I believe we can always pray for that.