22

Today i got a systemic sclerosis patient. 22 years old female. One year older than me. She is the most fabulous patient i ever met. Normally one who stay in hospital tak dress up neither have enough time (and passion) to wear make up. (this girl even mascara'ed' and im sure she put on some face powder,lipstick as well) .Priority, she's very very kind dan her arabic sangatlah jelas dan difahami.

Out 1st patient was attended by the doctor who supposed to round with us. Unfortunately, he's on NPO (puasa sebab nanti nak check glucose) dan arab dia sangatlah tak difahami. And everytime tak paham, rasa tak sampai hati nak suruh dia ulang balik sbb he looks lemah sangat. So yes i let him go. Biarlah our other group member yang take case dia so that later kalau case tu dipilih untuk kena present, itll be more beneficial to everyone. And yes i dont want to waste my time on something i knew i wont make it through.

The fact that the culture in this country doesn't  allow inpatient to wear hospital gown yang kadang2  selalu buat aku confuse mana satu pesakit nie. Once, i was nearly tricked by this one young guy yang duduk dalam hirom (selimut tebal used only masa winter sebab tebal dia macam karpet) pastu dia pura pura mcm tengah sakit. Aihhh sabar je la bang. Main main eh mentang2 kita kecik macam budak budak. Bosan sangat teman patient kot eh. So the only way to identify them is by the cannula on their hand.  

Back to my fabulous patient, i came to reflect how lucky i am to be where i am right now. She's just 22 and  couldnt even complete her study because her freaking itchy skin irritates her from doing any activity. And now she is having shortness of breath, not even able to walk to toilet. Not to mention those menggelupas kulit all over her body, and her kulit makin gelap by days, sakit and swelling dekat jari, lose too much weight since first diagnosed with sclerosis, and now she's still having her eyelashes on fleek. Girl, youre way too strong you know to endure all these with you. Youre just 22 and young. Too young. 

And i come to reflect , youth is one of those bounties yang we always took them for granted . Youth is everything gais. Everything because it is the phase for us to learn everything that we never knew we would learn about it. It is not just about be in love , or live while you are young. It is about exposing the reality that everyone around us are not merely doing what they are because they want to. Some of them are not lucky enough to have what they wish they would have, some of them get something better than they wish, and some of them turn anything that they get to something they wish they'd have. Be it something else,at the end of the day, life serve us something to be enjoyed by not knowing what will be served afterwards. 

Plot twist, life is intriguing but death does even more. May Allah grant us husnul khotimah. Islam already let us know what will be served to us in Akhirat later on if we perform well in this Dunya by our Prophet Messenger , Muhammad S.A.W hadith and our Holy Risalah Quran. It is now just a matter of choice. To do good or not.

Be a kind person is never a waste. Sabar, sabar and sabar. Being rejected by the patient (almost everyday), i learn that how many patience i need to inculcate in myself. To keep smiling and say thank you walaupun patient dah buat muka macam nak telan kau. Thank you sebab makcik tak baling gelas kat saya kacau mak cik pagi2 hari, thank you for not saying rude words , thank you to always remind me to appreciate humanity more. To pujuk diri sendiri untuk cuba faham theyre sick people, they are sensitive group, they need to be treated and thats why they act like that. And yes im not even yell anymore these days if i get angry haha. I hold it in. And cry at night.